I have just under 900 Facebook friends. The weirdest part is, I actually do care about the majority of my Facebook friends. I have still images burned in my mind of moments that we shared as well as 15 second video clips. My brain remembers all sorts of random details. I remember hiding uneaten food in a trash can with my friend Rachel so we could get dessert. I remember my friend Cody sneezing a big thing of snot on his mom's amazing cinnamon rolls. I remember thinking my friend Adam was the coolest kid I ever met. I remember my sister Tami telling me that she'd never let anything happen to me. This was all before 5th grade.
I remember Jonathan teaching me about AOL, Tim teaching me about Boys to Men, Rachel teaching me about Gangsta Rap, Mandi teaching me that it's ok to be me, Edgar teaching me how to say "your momma" jokes, and I remember running 50 laps in athletics with Danny because we were late for practice. This was all in middle school.
I could go on about the people who formed my faith, the importance of my parents, the people who snazzied my dance moves, the girl I couldn't get out of my mind, the atheist who taught me it's ok to have faith, the guys that I bled with on the football field, the mentors and friends that took care of me when I was lonely at college, the teacher who taught me how to think, the friends in Portland that taught me a better way to live, etc.
All of this is to say that one of the hardest parts of getting older is not being able to keep up with friends...it's just impossible. I think I will always have a slight longing. I'll never be able to tell everybody thank you or you are important to me.
I am learning that my place in life right now is to go smaller. Sure I'll say, "Happy Birthday" on Facebook from time to time, but my energy must primarily be spent on my wife and my son. This is my role and my joy in life (I like when those things overlap).