10 Year Anniversary: On a Bench in San Francisco

Note: My bride and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage in September. I've known her 18 years. That's 3 years more than I have not known her. In the weeks that we approach our 10 year anniversary, I'll be posting mental photographs of the development of our relationship. This post is part 2. Click here if you missed part 1.

It was Thanksgiving 2001. I was in San Francisco visiting my sister. I was at a park by the bay. I was recovering, having just tried to catch a frisbee in my mouth that was thrown by my brother-in-law John (dogs make it look so easy). And I couldn't get Tammie out of my mind. I hadn't seen her since the summer, but I had been talking to her weekly on the phone. Something beautiful was happening but I was not going to have a "DTR" talk over the phone. So there I sat on a park bench in San Francisco yearning, waiting, and dreaming.

There is something painfully wonderful about waiting for something you want. Denying oneself is a spiritual discipline. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was ready to date. I had been waiting for a long time. Yet, I sat on a bench in San Francisco, alone. But my heart was warmed. I knew that waiting was strengthening my soul.

Eventually Christmas came. I was able to see Tammie in person. As soon as I could, I wanted to find out if she was feeling what I was feeling. We talked in depth for a couple of hours. We decided to begin pursuing a relationship as best as we could 600 miles away from one another. Two days later we had another conversation where Tammie clarified that yes, we were indeed dating. Apparently guys tend to assume things without verbally confirming them. Whatever.

 

10 Year Anniversary: Start With the Ending. It's the Best Place to Begin.

Note: My bride and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage in September. I've known her 18 years. That's 3 years more than I have not known her. In the weeks that we approach our 10 year anniversary, I'll be posting mental photographs of the development of our relationship.

There is a great song by David Wilcox titled "Start With the Ending." The concept is that relationships would be much better if you just started from the ended where you didn't care what the other person thought about you. That way, you could lay everything out in the open.

Tammie and I had an early ending towards the end of high school. The short version of the story is that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. While I knew this all along, I ran from the reality for three years as we quasi dated. This made the ending very emotionally painful for us. 

We barely talked my freshman year of college. I was at Rhodes and she was 600 miles away at A&M. After a year of barely talking we bumped into one another at an event. I remember the conversation being fun and, in no way, awkward. I remember having a conversation later about how great it was that we could be friends again.

Fast forward to spring break of my sophomore year. I decided to drive over to A&M to see some friends. Tammie was one of the many friends I was planning on visiting. But something terrible/amazing happened. Everybody bailed on me. I came down during midterm week and everybody had to study. That is to say, everybody but Tammie had to study.

So there we sat, at a coffee shop, catching up. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. She had grown into a completely different person while we had been apart. We both had matured as people and as followers of Jesus. I fell in love. Again.

I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Besides, I thought she was dating a pro baseball player. I decided to start calling her again. I bought a phone card on this wonderful new invention called the internet. I started calling her once ever couple of months. Then we started talking every month. Then we started talking every two weeks. Then we started talking every week. Before long, we were having hour long conversations about life, Jesus, and the intersection of the two. Something wonderful was happening. 

To be continued... 

10 Year Anniversary: Scattergories

Note: My bride and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage in September. I've known her 18 years. That's 3 years more than I have not known her. In the weeks that we approach our 10 year anniversary, I'll be posting mental photographs of the development of our relationship.

For some reason, Tammie and I never hung out alone when we were in high school. The only times we were alone were when i was driving her to a dance. Most of the time, we just hung out with her family and watched movies or played games. Looking back I'm thankful that we never were alone. High schoolers tend to make dumb decisions (no offense if you are currently in high school).

Sometimes we played Scattergories. The objective of the 2-to-6-player game is to score points by uniquely naming objects within a set of categories, given an initial letter, within a time limit. For example, say the category is food and you get "A" as the letter. Some examples of possible answers are avocado, artichoke, anchovies, etc. 

One night I was playing with all of Tammie's siblings and her parents. The game was getting intense. I was sitting next to Tammie and her sister, Emily. The category was body parts. The letter was "S". In mass confusion I blurted out a very embarrassing word that describes a male body part. I was, and continue to be, terribly embarrassed  Thankfully, most of Tammie's family are deaf. Only Tammie and her sister heard me.

CLICK HERE for "10 Year Anniversary: Mixtapes"
CLICK HERE for "10 Year Anniversary: The Meet-Cute"